September 2020 Top Ten
#10 – At what point does archaeology and historical research become grave robbing?
Dig up a grave from 3,000 B.C. in Egypt, and you’re an archaeologist. Dig up a grave from 1624 at Jamestown, and you’re a historian. Dig up a grave in the neighborhood cemetery and you’re a felon.
#9 – Who killed Jeffrey Epstein?
We’ll probably never know, but one thing seems pretty certain: it wasn’t Jeffrey Epstein.
#8 – Who let the dogs out?
All we know is, “The party was nice, the party was pumping; Ah yepee ah yo; And everybody having a ball,” and then, total chaos erupted. Talk about a buzz kill.
#7 – If a tree falls in a forest, and there is no one there to hear it, does the Pope still shit in the woods?
Which leads to another question: As a practicing Catholic, do I need to bring up this question the next time I go to confession?
#6 – Who killed Vince Foster?
#5 – A faucet is turned on and water flows out at a gallon per minute rate with the following equation:
Where “t” is the number of minutes since the faucet was turned on, to the nearest gallon, how much water flows out of the faucet during the first two minutes the faucet is turned on?
I got this one wrong on the chapter test, and then again on the final exam. Nowadays, if I even think about the question I have to pee.
#4 – If the island of Guam becomes too populated, will it tip over?
During a House Armed Services Committee hearing in 2010, the estimable Rep. Hank Johnson (D-GA) brought up this concern to Admiral Robert F. Willard. Somehow, Willard was able to respond with a straight face, deadpanning, “We don’t anticipate that.” In actuality, the real unanswered question is: How did the voters of Georgia’s 4th District ever elect this knucklehead in the first place?
#3 – Does Sasquatch actually exist?
Peruse your cable television channel guide, and you’ll find multiple reality TV shows dedicated to the subject. Type in a Google search and you’ll see dozens of blogs and conspiracy theories. Drive down a rural highway, and you may see a bumper sticker or spare tire cover proclaiming, “Gone Squatching!” If this question does get answered, and it turns out that yes, Sasquatch does exist, I have another question… do they really like beef jerky?
#2 – Are CP violations somehow the product of the second law of thermodynamics, or are they a separate arrow of time?
I almost had this one answered last week, but in my equation I forgot to carry the 3… back to the drawing board.
#1 – WTF?
A question that is being asked at an alarmingly increasing rate, and the answer to which is more elusive than ever.