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Everything About Modern Transportation Is Racist

Image by Please Don’t sell My Artwork AS IS from Pixabay

By Guest Author, Parker Beauregard from

In the world of the left, racism is ubiquitous. COVID is racist, policing is racist, housing is racist, incomes are racist, education is racist, Trump is super racist – even though Biden gets away with all kinds of actual racist remarks (you ain’t black, poor kids can do just as good as white kids, etc.). All white people are racist, even if they aren’t, because they help propagate a racism system.

We shake our heads, we resist at the polls, and we try our hardest in conservative online communities, but even a swimmer giving the ocean hell gets pulled away in a strong enough riptide.

You know how they say addicts and users need to hit rock bottom before really being able to recover? Maybe we should just go all in. Let’s just give the whole system a giant middle finger and yank the band aid off. I propose we start with transportation.

One could make a strong argument that non-white people practice cultural appropriation at every turn (pun intended) because almost everything related to travel, cars, and road systems was designed by white people. You’re welcome, non-white world. If we have to give up Halloween and Taco Tuesday, you should have to give up transportation. I hear camel caravans are nice.

Since it is a given that the left holds itself to no standards, I do not expect them to so easily give up their means of movement in the name of rejecting white European culture. Like I said, though, we want to hit rock bottom as a society (the faster the better!), and since this is our ship (even the oldest boat dates to 8,000 BC in Holland), let’s just declare everything to do with transportation remnants of the white patriarchy and do our darndest to go down with everyone. That means for all of the race-conscious environmentalists, the use of pedestrian sidewalks (Greek and Roman), bicycles (German and French), buses (French), and subways (American) – which were modeled after trains (Scottish) – are no longer allowed. An honorary acknowledgement must go out as well to drivers of minivans (American).

It is unclear how anyone will go anywhere, so even if they wanted to get to an airport (American) and fly a plane(American), it’d be futile.

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The history of our roadway system is especially awash in white supremacy. I daresay once we count the ways that Black Lives Matter will be torching stop signs, traffic lights, yield signs, lane lines, asphalt, and cars themselves (oh wait, they do that already).

The stop sign was invented by a white American, and Skull and Bones Society member from Yale, by the name of William Phelps Eno. Yale once hosted a training on how to undo racism, so naturally it makes sense that we not come to standardized complete stops, taking turns at four-ways, and yielding to the person on the right.

The yield sign was invented by a white police officer (that’s two penalties against the yield sign) in Oklahoma. Given that its introduction came in recently acknowledged Indian territory and at the height of the Civil Rights era in the 1950s, we should have been ignoring the brake pedal yesterday.

The three-colored traffic light system that appears in every major crossroad was invented by white man William Potts in 1920. A black man by the name of Garret Morgan had a patent in 1923 for an automated electric signal that has made the whole system easier, but without the initial train semaphores used in England and the graduation to lights on American streets, the ability to add the final touch, as Morgan did, is utterly pointless. Kudos to him for doing it, but without white men preceding his actions by putting every element together, we need to ban them, too. Even though each man was inspired by the need to increase safety at dangerous intersections, their inherently racist origins mean that traffic lights must go.

The use of lane lines aids people in distinguishing their part of the road from someone else’s part. Now, this sounds vaguely like personal space, and since BLM is communal, I don’t even like the sounds of that. Why shouldn’t someone just be able to drift into my lane? If they’re coming from the opposite direction, even better. The historical case is being made that a woman from California pioneered this taken-for-granted feature of roads, although evidence leans towards a male Michigander doing it slightly earlier. Either way, they were both white, so for our purpose the issue is moot. If women want a win, they can have this one.

Asphalt came to the United States by way of a white male Belgian professor. Another example of colonizing white people, I suppose. After all, the area of Simi Valley was peacefully inhabited by the Chumash, and later by Mexicans, so by the time this guy came in, he was imposing his white Christian European standards on everybody. Mud roads have the benefit of cheaper repairs, and since orange road cones were also invented by a white male out of California, we won’t have to sit in summer construction every year. It’s a win-win situation.

It has been decided that asphalted roads must be done away with, and by extension the case should be made for a more efficient freeway system. Modeling the U.S. Interstate System after the autobahn in Germany, white male and Republican president Dwight D. Eisenhower ambitiously connected the United States with zigzagging and unimpeded roadways. There is a lot wrong with this. First, the autobahn was essentially a Hitler project; although ideated in the 1920s, it was basically the Fuhrer that ramped up construction. So, yikes, that won’t do. Then, Eisenhower himself was a former military commander (guns and war are bad) who had extramarital affairs (#MeToo). And, some freeway systems ate into predominantly black communities. That’s actually bad, but if it wasn’t them, it’d be someone else, and they’d have gripes about it, too, so that’s a lose-lose. Someone had to move their house. Besides, now communities are brought together by their shared experience with eminent domain.

The argument about who invented the car is irrelevant. According to the Library of Congress, Da Vinci actually had drawings of a future car. After him, various individuals are credited with inventing or improving upon essential car components. In descending order from a tidy table that the website displays, their countries of origin are France, Scotland, Germany, Germany, United States, and the United States. White Europeans all of them. And, that list left of Benz and Ford, two of the most prominent names of car production itself. White men again. For those keeping score at home, it was all white European or American men.

Should we celebrate white history for bequeathing us all of the safety, luxury, and convenience of travel we take for granted, or should we condemn it because it was created by racist whites living in a racist white society? If we do condemn it, does that mean we have to give it up? They say America is racist and needs to be torn down, so it stands to reason we have to give up our cars, roads, systems, and traffic patterns if those too were developed by white supremacists.

It’s going to get really messy out there. Too bad tow trucks and ambulances are racist, too.

Parker Beauregard