Proposing a hypothetical: What if “Joe Biden” has worsening symptoms of an adverse reaction to his late September Covid booster shot? Does that account for the sudden flurry of interest in how his handlers might manage the problem of Kamala Harris? And what is the problem with Kamala Harris? That she is Vice-president and next-in-line for Commander-in-chief in the (adverse) event that “JB” has to step aside. And why is that a problem? Because she is widely loathed and distrusted among those who know her in Washington.
That’s what bubbled up last week as “Joe Biden” went into Walter Reed Hospital for a checkup, including an alleged colonoscopy. What if that was not the test he had?
What if they ran him through a CT scan or an MRI to detect neurological damage or vascular irregularities in his brain? (In 1988, “JB” did have a couple of brain aneurysms and endured a four-and-a-half-hour microsurgical craniotomy.) Briefly during this exam, Veep Kamala Harris carried the nuclear football, gaining no yardage in the process, but curdling the spinal fluxes of many casual observers in our nation’s capital. Later, the president’s doctors issued a detailed report that portrayed an elderly gentleman “fit to successfully execute the duties of the presidency….”
And so, for the next three days “Joe Biden” proceeded in his august duties. Late Friday, after the checkup ordeal, he successfully pardoned a Thanksgiving turkey (convicted of mis-gendering a capon). On Saturday, he successfully attended evening mass at a church in Wilmington. And on Sunday he did nothing, with apparent success. Today, he flies to Fort Bragg for a “Friendsgiving dinner” with soldiers. One must imagine that Kamala Harris could keep up with a schedule like that, though perhaps without successfully easing the woes and travails of the American people in this time of Covid, Climate Change, inflation, and white supremacist terrorism.
Of course, if it turned out that “Joe Biden” presented symptoms of an adverse reaction to his Covid booster shot, that might flip the government’s claim that the mRNA vaccines are harmless. It might actually blow away the entire rationale for pushing the American people around over all things Covid. It would drive a stake through the heart of the CDC and end the career of Dr. Anthony Fauci. It would end all the efforts to destroy small business and public school in the USA. It would also prompt severe reactions from the citizens in other advanced nations — especially among what is called the West — and put a stop to their lockdowns, health passports, and proposals for mandatory vaccinations.
So, you see, whatever might be going on with “Joe Biden” health-wise has got to be a national security matter. And so, considering that our government lies liberally about thousands of other matters of lesser importance, one can see that they would be motivated to not tell the truth about “JB’s” checkup.
Also, of course, getting rid of Ms. Harris would be another extremely touchy matter, starting from the basic proposition of declaring a woman-of-color not sufficiently competent to lead the nation. Say, what…?!? Don’t even think about it! But then imagine our Veep elevated to the highest office: all a’giggle when meeting other heads-of-state, trying out amusing foreign accents on visits abroad (our own Inspector Clouseau), attending to the “root causes” of illegal immigration by remote viewing, perhaps declining to pardon next year’s Thanksgiving turkey, but rather persuading AG Merrick Garland to bring additional charges.
Who might the Democratic Party scrounge up to replace poor Kamala Harris, anyway? Surely it would have to be another woman-of-color. In terms of sheer seniority, the nod ought to go to Maxine Waters. Wouldn’t that be a helluva ride? I’d like to see her duke it out with Uncle Xi and head-fake nasty old Vlad Putin. For sheer liberal sadomasochism, though, I’d have to put my money on Rashida Tlaib, a born punisher if ever there was one. She’d have all those white supremacist enemies-of-the-state duck-walking through the federal courts like so many cattle through the slaughterhouse. And then capitalism will go on trial, ensuring that no one will ever work for a living again in this land as the government is anointed Breadwinner-in-chief.
Following this year’s great celebration of thankful prayer, gluttony, football, and napping, we can look forward to the battle over raising the national debt ceiling. There will be much remonstrating and rending of garments, and then Congress will cave and boost it. Enjoy the histrionics between your own Black Friday battles in the chain store aisles over the vanishing inventory of Christmas schwag and the vanishing purchasing power of your dollars. Or else just drive up to a Nordstrom’s with eighty of your close friends and enjoy the new style of shopping: bum-rush the clerks, grab everything you can get your hands on, and dash back to the car. Just keep it under $950 and you’ll be fine. Happy holidays, everyone!
By James Howard Kunstler
James Howard Kunstler is a renowned author, social critic, and public speaker. He has written several books including “The Geography of Nowhere” and “The Long Emergency.” He has written for Rolling Stone Magazine, The Atlantic Monthly, and The New York Times Sunday Magazine, and has lectured at some of the most prestigious schools in the country, including Harvard, Yale, and Dartmouth. For more from Mr. Kunstler, please visit his website.