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Lol: Amorous Baseball Fans Under Investigation For Alleged Sex Act In Lonely Bleacher Section

When your sports team is bad, there is only so much you can tolerate before seeking out alternative entertainment. And really, is it the couple’s fault that the Oakland A’s can’t even find one other person to purchase an outfield seat?

Sitting high up and alone at RingCentral Coliseum, a couple got past both first and second base – which is more than the shutout A’s could say – and appeared to be making a trip to third during their recent encounter.

Those watching at home can see for themselves how the rounding of bases was accomplished:

As Outkick hilariously noted, this woman in particular had an up-close-and-personal view of a bat and balls. Indeed.

Outkick went on to report that this seemingly innocuous, victimless crime carries some stiff penalties. It looks like this story might not end with a happy ending.

“Should these lovebirds be found to have made their way around the bases mid-game — stopping just short of home — they could be formally charged. If convicted, they face up to six months in jail and/or a fine of up to $1,000.”

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While not condoning the unzipping of pants and the fellating of fellow fans at a sporting event, I am also not pleased to see law enforcement once again take off in a terrible direction. This couple is looking at jail and fine but the daily, and deadly, NYC knockout games manifest almost no criminality. It’s the difference between treatment of BLM rioters and J6 defendants on a microscale.

Twitter also had fun with the video, leaving no shortage of commentary:

It must have been a double header

They’re newlyweds on their honeymoon.  He kisses her on the strikes, and she kisses him on the balls

The team sucks on the field, the fans suck in the stands.

I heard those seats suck

At least someone was finally scoring at an A’s game this year.

I don’t have much to add to this story. What else needs to be stated? As it turns out, the A’s actually did win that day, besting the Seattle Mariners 5-3 and busting my parlay. It wasn’t the only thing getting busted that day.

At least the A’s didn’t have a come from behind victory. I think that commensurate video would be more than most of us could handle.

Hailey Sanibel fiercely loves freedom. She equally detests evil and stupidity, both of which are out of control in the modern world. She is a regular contributor at The Blue State Conservative.

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Featured image: Nathan Hughes Hamilton, CC BY 2.0 <https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/2.0>, via Wikimedia Commons