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Gavin’s Grand Plan (A Satire So Crazy It Could Happen)

When California formed a reparations task force for descendents of slaves, there was never a question of whether they would determine reparations are warranted. The main question would be how much. Secondary would be who qualifies. The Pandora’s Box Newsom opened up with this clown act will be a spectacle for sure. What frightens me is the powder keg he is potentially igniting for the country.

Let’s begin with who qualifies. When the money starts being handed out, expect riots and looting from those who don’t qualify. By my raw, unsophisticated estimate, I am guessing we took in about a million black illegal aliens under Biden’s watch. Unless they are blindly uninformed they should be on their way to the California Reparations Riots, especially because California will gullibly use the honor system to determine who is a proper recipient. Expect the BLM and Antifa crowds to enter the show, because you know, no amount of money could ever be enough to salve those ancient wounds that Gavin reopened. Plus Antifa is getting bored.

Now let’s look at the budget. California does not have the money to pay descendents of slaves they never had. They burned through about 98 billion dollars in one year and face a 25 billion dollar shortfall next year under Newsom’s command. The reparations pot will quickly be going dry as the line grows ever longer. Rationing and IOUs will commence. The longer you waited to get in line, the less you receive. Uh-oh. More anger and riots, hopefully with major dissention in the BLM ranks as they fight over who got what while Patrice got another mansion. Because I’m safely in Texas I’m going to stock up on popcorn. And bullets, just in case.

Wanting to get in on this virtue signaling, Kaepernick kind of movement, myopic states across the country decide to follow California’s march off a cliff. Pretty soon the demands and violence have gone nationwide but the kettles are empty so we will look to our great savior, Joe Biden (or whoever has been inserted), who will declare reparations for EVERYONE except white people to calm the violence and restore normalcy to the ravaged country. Everybody gets borrowed money and the right to vote if you don’t already have it. Don’t you dare forget who gave it to you come voting time.

The irony that Antifa will have rioted their asses off to wind up among the only ones who didn’t get any loot will be completely lost on them. You almost want to give them credit for being in the game for the love of it and not the money.

Fools like Gavin Newsom never seem to look at ahead at the consequences of their lust for immediate gratification. Or do they? Hmmmm. It seems like Newsom is never the one charged with cleaning up his mess. Someone else is always expected to pick up that French Laundry tab. Newsom is one disaster after another but he simply steps off the elevator the second before it crashes to the ground, like Bugs Bunny. Good old Bugsy was always one step ahead of his antagonists.  

With the country in turmoil from riots and discord, who will the Democrats promote to solve everything? The answer is cartoonish but obvious. Why, Gavin Newsom of course!

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I hope this satire does not become reality.