The Blue State Conservative

Because somebody has to say this stuff.

Quote of the Day

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“He’s listed as day to day, but, then again, aren’t we all?”   Dan Patrick   (posted 3/4/21)

“I wish I could say that my daily COVID presentations were well-choreographed, scripted, rehearsed, or reflected any of the talents that you advance. They didn’t. They offered only one thing, authentic truth and stability. But sometimes, that’s enough. When things are at their worst, that’s when you can see people at their best.”   Democratic New York Governor Andrew Cuomo accepting his Emmy Award only four months ago   (posted 3/3/21)

“Wherever was found what was called a paternal government was found a state education. It had been discovered that the best way to insure implicit obedience was to commence tyranny in the nursery.“   Benjamin Disraeli   (posted 3/2/21)

“There’s no need to change anything that you’re doing on a day by day basis.”   Dr. Anthony Fauci, one year ago today (posted 3/1/21)

“So if you do win an award tonight, don’t use it as a platform to make a political speech. You’re in no position to lecture the public about anything. You know nothing about the real world. Most of you spent less time in school than Greta Thunberg. So if you win, come up, accept your little award, thank your agent, and… $&@! off, OK?”   Ricky Gervais at the 2020 Golden Globe Awards   (posted 2/28/21)

“When I want my men to remember something important, to really make it stick, I give it to them double dirty. It may not sound nice to some bunch of little old ladies at an afternoon tea party, but it helps my soldiers to remember.”   General George S. Patton   (posted 2/27/21)

“Of what use is freedom of speech to those who fear to offend?”   Roger Ebert   (posted 2/26/21)

“It’s more fun to be a pirate than to join the Navy.”   Steve Jobs   (posted 2/25/21)

“We thought that he was going to be…  I shouldn’t say this at Christmastime, but… the next messiah.”   Barbara Walters regarding Barack Obama   (posted 2/24/21)

“If God didn’t intend for us to eat animals, then why did he make them out of meat?”   John Cleese   (posted 2/23/21)

“I am sure there never was a people, who had more reason to acknowledge a divine interposition in their affairs, than those of the United States.”   George Washington   (posted 2/22/21)

“About Jesus Christ and the Church, I simply know they’re just one thing, and we shouldn’t complicate the matter.”   Saint Joan of Arc   (posted 2/21/21)

“Back then ‘cruel and unusual punishment’ meant the rack and burning at the stake — both of those things that had been used in pre-Revolutionary America — but in more recent rulings it has been taken to mean the absence of cable television and denial of sex-change operations.”   Tom Clancy   (posted 2/20/21)

“President Reagan must be happy over how bad the weather’s been this winter, because it’s the one thing no one’s blaming on him. There’s nothing television news likes better than bad weather, and we sure get a lot of it in the United States.”   Andy Rooney   (posted 2/19/21)

“If Thomas Jefferson thought taxation without representation was bad, he should see how it is with representation.”   Rush Limbaugh, may you rest in Peace   (posted 2/18/21)

“Ash Wednesday is full of joy. The source of all sorrow is the illusion that of ourselves we are anything but dust.”   Thomas Merton   (posted 2/17/21)

“It has been said that a Scotchman has not seen Scotland until he has seen Edinburgh; and I think that I may say that an American has not seen the United States until he has seen Mardi Gras in New Orleans.”   Mark Twain   (posted 2/16/21)

“There’s one reason why [Presidents’ Day] is a holiday. It had nothing to do with our country deciding that we wanted to show reverence for our presidents, Lincoln, Washington, or all of them; nothing to do with that. The ski industry wanted a three-day weekend.” Rush Limbaugh   (posted 2/15/21)

“Oh here’s an idea: let’s make pictures of our internal organs and give them to other people we love on Valentine’s Day. That’s not weird at all.”   Jimmy Fallon   (posted 2/14/21)

“Where I stand doesn’t depend on where I’m standing.”   Fred Thompson   (posted 2/13/21)

“He can compress the most words into the smallest ideas better than any man I ever met.”   Abraham Lincoln   (posted 2/12/21)

“Doublethink means the power of holding two contradictory beliefs in one’s mind simultaneously, and accepting both of them.”   George Orwell from the novel 1984   (posted 2/11/21)

“America’s political system used to be about the pursuit of happiness. Now, more and more of us want to stop chasing it and have it delivered.”   Jonah Goldberg   (posted 2/10/21)

“When we see men of worth, we should think of equaling them; when we see men of a contrary character, we should turn inwards and examine ourselves.” Confucius   (posted 2/9/21)

“If the NBA was on channel 5 and a bunch of frogs making love was on channel 4, I’d watch the frogs even if they were coming in fuzzy.”   Bobby Knight   (posted 2/8/21)

“Do not put your trust in princes, in human beings, who cannot save. When their spirit departs, they return to the ground; on that very day their plans come to nothing. Blessed are those whose help is God.”   Psalms 146:3-5   (posted 2/7/21)

“Ali told me in the ring, ‘You can’t beat me – I’m your Lord.’ I just told him, ‘Lord, you’re in the wrong place tonight.’”   Joe Frazier   (posted 2/6/21)

“Suspicion is a virtue as long as its object is the public good, and as long as it stays within proper bounds. … Guard with jealous attention the public liberty. Suspect everyone who approaches that jewel.”   Patrick Henry   (posted 2/5/21)

“Kid, I’ll give you a little bit of advice. Don’t believe anything they write about you, good or bad.”   Babe Ruth to Red Grange   (posted 2/4/21)

“During my service in the United States Congress, I took the initiative in creating the Internet.”   Al Gore   (posted 2/3/21)

“It’s the same thing every day… Clean up your room, stand up straight, pick up your feet, take it like a man, be nice to your sister, don’t mix beer and wine ever… Oh yeah, and don’t drive on the railroad tracks.”   Phil Connors (Bill Murray) from the movie Groundhog Day   (posted 2/2/21)

“None. I don’t drink and fly.”   Chuck Yeager, responding to a question about how many UFOs he had seen   (posted 2/1/2021)

“Give unto Caesar what belongs to Caesar, and give unto God what belongs to God.”   Mark   12:17   (posted 1/31/21)

“The older I get, the less I try to tiptoe around people’s feelings. You either like me or you don’t, simple as that.”   Clint Eastwood   (posted 1/30/31)

“Society in every state is a blessing, but government even in its best state is but a necessary evil; in its worst state an intolerable one.”    Thomas Paine   (posted 1/29/21)

“Success isn’t permanent, and failure isn’t fatal.”   Mike Ditka   (posted 1/28/21)

“It was 106 [degrees] in the valley today… I was sweating like Dan Rather checking for forged documents.”   Jay Leno   (posted 1/27/21)

“In general, the art of government consists in taking as much money as possible from one party of the citizens to give to the other.”   Voltaire   (posted 1/26/21)

“The students and even the Director himself rose automatically to the tips of their toes. They were Alphas, of course, but even Alphas have been well conditioned.”   Alduous Huxley from Brave New World   (posted 1/25/21)

“Heathenism is a state of mind. You can take it that I’m referring to one who does not see his world. He has no mental light. He destroys almost unwittingly. He cannot feel any of God’s presence in his life.”   David Bowie   (posted 1/24/21)

“Politicians are the same all over. They promise to build a bridge even where there is no river.”   Nikita Khrushchev (posted 1/23/21)

“Why is it claimed that if people can’t or won’t take care of their own needs, that people in government can do it for them?”   Ron Paul   (posted 1/22/21)

“We are not educated well enough to perform the necessary act of intelligently selecting our leaders.”   Walter Cronkite   (posted 1/21/21)

“We should make sure that in we have no one going to jail for a, uh, a, drug offense… they go directly, mandatory, prison.”   Joe Biden   (posted 1/20/21)

“I became an optimist when I discovered that I wasn’t going to win any more games by being anything else.”   Earl Weaver   (posted 1/19/21)

“I have a dream that my four little children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin but by the content of their character.”   Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.   (posted 1/18/21)

“Therefore stay awake—for you do not know when the master of the house will come, in the evening, or at midnight, or when the rooster crows, or in the morning— lest he come suddenly and find you asleep. And what I say to you I say to all: Stay awake.” Mark 13:35-36   (published 1/17/21)

“It has been said that politics is the second oldest profession. I have learned that it bears a striking resemblance to the first.”   Ronald Reagan   (posted 1/16/21)

“Let me tell you the truth. The truth is what is, and what should be is a fantasy; a terrible, terrible lie that someone gave to the people long ago.”   Lenny Bruce   (posted 1/15/21)

“If you turn off the news and just talk to your neighbors, you’ll find that our great country is far more harmonious than you’re being told.”   Rob Schneider   (posted 1/14/21)

“People who live in the past generally are afraid to compete in the present. I’ve got my faults, but living in the past isn’t one of them. There’s no future in it.”  Sparky Anderson   (posted 1/13/21)

“Don’t speak too soon, for the wheel’s still in spin.. and there’s no tellin’ who that it’s namin’.. For the loser now will be later to win… oh the times they are a-changin’” Bob Dylan The Times They Are A Changin’   (posted 1/12/21)

“[W]hy are there no Martin Luther Kings around today? I think one reason is that there are no black leaders willing to resist the seductions of racial power, or to make the sacrifices moral power requires. King understood that racial power subverts moral power, and he pushed the principles of fairness and equality rather than black power.”   Shelby Steele   (posted 1/11/21)

“As the Philistine moved closer to attack him, David ran quickly toward the battle line to meet him. Reaching into his bag he took out a stone, he slung it and struck the Philistine on the forehead. The stone sank into his forehead, and he fell facedown on the ground.“ 1 Samuel 17:48-49 (posted 1/10/21)

“The proof of a theory is in its reasoning, not in its sponsorship.” Ludwig von Mises (posted 1/9/21)

“Here in America we are descended in blood and in spirit from revolutionaries and rebels—men and women who dared to dissent from accepted doctrine. As their heirs, may we never confuse honest dissent with disloyal subversion.”   Dwight D. Eisenhower   (posted 1/8/21)

“I am a firm believer in the people. If given the truth, they can be depended upon to meet any national crisis. The great point is to bring them the real facts. And beer.” Abraham Lincoln (posted 1/7/21)

“Anyone who isn’t confused doesn’t really understand the situation.” Edward R. Murrow (posted 1/6/21)

“Since you have chosen to elect a man with a timber toe to succeed me, you may all go to hell and I will go to Texas.” Davy Crockett (posted 1/5/21)

“Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it everywhere, diagnosing it incorrectly, and applying the wrong remedies.”   Groucho Marx   (posted 1/4/21)

”When Joseph and Mary had done everything required by the Law of the Lord, they returned to Galilee to their own town of Nazareth. And the child grew and became strong; he was filled with wisdom, and the grace of God was on him.” Luke 2:39-40  (posted 1/3/21)

“There are far better things ahead than we leave behind.”   C.S. Lewis   (posted 1/2/21)

“It’s New Year’s Day. Now is the accepted time to make your regular, annual good resolutions. Next week you can begin paving hell with them as usual.”   Mark Twain   (posted 1/1/21)

“Youth is when you’re allowed to stay up late on New Year’s Eve. Middle age is when you’re forced to.”   Bill Vaughn   (posted 12/31/20)

“New Year’s Resolution: to tolerate fools more gladly, provided this doesn’t encourage them to take up more of my time.”   James Agate   (posted 12/30/20)

“It is not in the stars to hold our destiny, but in ourselves.”  William Shakespeare (posted 12/29/20)

“You know how I always dread the whole year? Well this time, I’m only going to dread one day at a time.”   Charlie Brown   (posted 12/28/20)

“Christmas is forever, not just one day. It’s for loving, for sharing, for giving… not to be put away like bells and lights and tinsel. The good you do for others is the good you do for yourself.” Norman Wesley Brooks (posted 12/27/20)

“I will honour Christmas in my heart, and try to keep it all the year. I will live in the Past, the Present, and the Future. The Spirits of all Three shall strive within me.”   Ebenezer Scrooge, from Charles Dickens’ A Christmas Carol   (posted 12/26/20)

“And the angel said unto them, Fear not: for, behold, I bring you good tidings of great joy, which shall be to all people. For unto you is born this day in the city of David, a Savior, which is Christ the Lord. And this shall be a sign unto you; You shall find the babe wrapped in swaddling clothes, lying in a manger.”   Luke 2:10-12   (posted 12/25/20)

“One of the most glorious messes in the world is the mess created in the living room on Christmas day. Don’t clean it up too quickly.” Andy Rooney   (posted 12/24/20)

“Happiness is having a large, loving, caring and close-knit family in another city.” George Burns (posted 12/23/20)

“If ‘ifs’ were gifts, every day would be Christmas.”   Charles Barkley   (posted 12/22/20)

“I love the freedoms we got in this country, I appreciate your freedom to burn your flag if you want to, but I really appreciate my right to bear arms so I can shoot you if you try to burn mine.” Johnny Cash (posted 12/21/20)

 “Behold, a virgin shall be with child, and shall bring forth a son, and they shall call his name Emmanuel.”   Matthew 1:23   (posted 12/20/20)

“Neil Armstrong was the first man to walk on the moon. I was the first man to piss his pants on the moon.”   Buzz Aldrin   (posted 12/19/20)

“If O.J. wasn’t famous, he’d be in jail right now. If O.J. drove a bus, he wouldn’t even be O.J. He’d be Orenthal the Bus Driving Murderer.” Chris Rock (posted 12/18/20)

“Leftists may still dominate mainstream media. But their unconcealed hatred of Trump and the one-sided character of their coverage has cost them much of the credibility they had half a century ago. The media are seen as militant partisans masquerading as journalists.” Pat Buchanan (posted 12/17/20)

“It is easier to fool people than to convince them they have been fooled.”   Mark Twain   (posted 12/16/20)

“Who else but that oracle of American liberalism, the New York Times, could run the puzzled headline: ‘Crime Keeps On Falling, but Prisons Keep On Filling.’ But? How about this wild theory: If you lock up the criminals, crime declines.” Charles Krauthammer (posted 12/15/20)

“Every socialistic type of government… produces bad art, produces social inertia, produces really unhappy people, and it’s more repressive than any other kind of government.”   Frank Zappa   (posted 12/14/20)

“You shall know the truth, and the truth shall set you free.”   John 8:32   (posted 12/13/20)

“I’ll tell you why — because, in the unlikely event that we’re both on the Titanic and it starts to sink, for some reason you get to leave with the kids and I have to stay — that’s why I get the dollar more an hour.” Bill Burr (posted 12/12/20)

“It’s a wonderful feeling to be a conservative these days. When I ran for President 17 years ago I was told I was behind the times. Now everybody tells me I was ahead of my time. All I can say is that time certainly is an elusive companion.” Barry Goldwater (posted 12/11/20)

“If the presidency is the head of the American body politic, Congress is its gastrointestinal tract.“ Jon Stewart (posted 12/10/20)

“President [Obama] already has a Nobel Prize for Peace… I think he’s now shooting for one for Fiction.”   Trey Gowdy   (posted 12/9/20)

“He that would seriously set upon the search of truth, ought in the first place to prepare his mind with a love of it. For he that loves it not, will not take much pains to get it; nor be much concerned when he misses it.”   John Locke   (posted 12/8/20)

“I wish I was ethnic, I’m nothing. Because if you’re Hispanic and you get angry, people are like, ‘He’s got a Latin temper!’ If you’re a white guy and you get angry, people are like, ‘That guy’s a jerk.’” Jim Gaffigan (posted 12/7/20)

“Every person is to be in subjection to the governing authorities. For there is no authority except from God, and those which exist are established by God.” Romans 13:1 (posted 12/6/20)

“An intellectual may be defined as a man who speaks with general authority about a subject on which he has no particular competence.” Irving Kristol (posted 12/5/20)

“When one of you sees someone who has been given more bounty in respect of wealth or physical strength, he should then look at someone who has less than him.” The Prophet Muhammad (posted 12/4/20)

 “He’s trying to get the stupid single women voter, which is the Democrat Party base.” Ann Coulter (posted 12/3/20)

“Vegetarian – that’s an old Indian word meaning ‘lousy hunter.’” Andy Rooney (posted 12/2/20)

“You can’t be on the defensive all the time. Be on the offensive, like me. I’m the most offensive person in the world.” George Jefferson (posted 12/1/20)

“Three things can ruin a man: power, money and women. I never wanted power, I never had any money, and the only woman in my life is up at the house right now.” Harry S. Truman (posted 11/30/20)

“To scorn the dictate of reason is to scorn the commandment of God.” St. Thomas Aquinas (posted 11/29/20)

“The smallest minority on earth is the individual. Those who deny individual rights cannot claim to be defenders of minorities.” Ayn Rand (posted 11/28/20)

“I come from a family where gravy is considered a beverage.” Erma Bombeck (posted 11/27/20)

“Thanksgiving is an emotional holiday. People travel thousands of miles to be with people they only see once a year. And then discover once a year is way too often.” Johnny Carson (posted 11/26/20)

“A recent police study found that you’re much more likely to get shot by a fat cop if you run.” Dennis Miller (posted 11/25/20)

“I think I’m so educated and I’m so civilized, ‘cause I’m a strict vegetarian… But with the over-population, and inflation, and starvation, and the crazy politicians… I don’t feel safe in this world no more… I don’t want to die in a nuclear war… I want to sail away to a distant shore”   Ray Davies   Apeman, by The Kinks (posted 11/24/20)

“If  Trump walked on water, they’d say he couldn’t swim. I think liberal fatigue is sweeping the nation. Nobody in his or her right mind cares what these fools say anymore.” James Woods (posted 11/23/20)

“Therefore each of you must put off falsehood and speak truthfully to your neighbor, for we are all members of one body.”  Ephesians 4:25 (posted 11/22/20)

“It is a general popular error to suppose the loudest complainers for the public to be the most anxious for its welfare.” Edmund Burke (posted 11/21/20)

“How many legs does a dog have if you call the tail a leg? Four. Calling a tail a leg doesn’t make it a leg.” Abraham Lincoln (posted 11/20/20)

“You can make a lot of money in this game. Just ask my ex-wives. Both of them are so rich that neither of their husbands work.” Lee Trevino (posted 11/19/20)

“Oh, these actors who ask, ‘What’s my motivation?’ all the time. Who cares? I’ll tell you what your motivation is: it’s the only thing you can do, and you’re getting paid to do it, so shut the hell up!” Ricky Gervais (posted 11/18/20)

“To those of you who received honors, awards and distinctions, I say well done. And to the C students, I say you, too, can be president of the United States.” Bob Dole (posted 11/17/20)

“I haven’t trusted polls since I read that 62% of women had affairs during their lunch hour. I’ve never met a woman in my life who would give up lunch for sex.” Erma Bombeck   (posted 11/16/20)

“Faith is to believe what you do not yet see; the reward for this faith is to see what you believe.” Saint Augustine (posted 11/15/20)

“How many watched the President’s speech last night? How many watched American Idol? Okay, there you go! You get the government you deserve.” Jay Leno (posted 11/14/20)

“After eight years as President, I have only two regrets: that I have not shot Henry Clay or hanged John C. Calhoun.” Andrew Jackson (posted 11/13/20)

“First you forget names; then you forget faces; then you forget to zip your fly; and then you forget to unzip your fly.” Branch Rickey (posted 11/12/20)

“[Saddam Hussein] is neither a strategist, nor is he schooled in the operational arts, nor is he a tactician, nor is he a general. Other than that, he’s a great military man.” General Norman Schwarzkopf (posted 11/11/20)

“I do not think we should have pushed for an election in the Palestinian territories. I think that was a big mistake. And if we were going to push for an election, then we should have made sure that we did something to determine who was going to win.” Hillary Clinton (posted 11/10/20)

“I can be President of the United States, or I can control [my daughter] Alice. I cannot possibly do both.” Theodore Roosevelt (posted 11/9/20)

“I’ve read the last page of the Bible. It’s all going to turn out all right.” Billy Graham (posted 11/8/20)

“In my lifetime, we’ve gone from Eisenhower to George W. Bush. We’ve gone from John F. Kennedy to Al Gore. If this is evolution, I believe that in twelve years, we’ll be voting for plants.”   Lewis Black   (posted 11/7/20)

“The streets are safe in Philadelphia. It’s only the people who make them unsafe.”   Frank Rizzo, former Philadelphia Police Commissioner   (posted 11/6/2020)

“Here is tragedy—and here is America. For the curse of the country, as well of all democracies, is precisely the fact that it treats its best men as enemies.” H.L. Mencken (posted 11/5/20)

“It’s like déjà vu all over again.” Yogi Berra (posted 11/4/20)

“Because, we cannot reelect… we cannot win this reelection… um, excuse me… we can only reelect Donald Trump!” Joe Biden (posted 11/3/20)

“I spent five and a half years in [a Vietnam] prison. The worst part was coming home and finding out Green Acres had been cancelled. What the hell was I fighting for?” John McCain (posted 11/2/20)

“Woe to those who call evil good and good evil, who put darkness for light and light for darkness, who put bitter for sweet and sweet for bitter.” Isaiah 5:20 (posted 11/1/20)

“On Halloween, the other parents sent their kids out looking like me.”   Rodney Dangerfield   (posted 10/31/20)

“Half-wracked prejudice leaped forth, ‘rip down all hate,’ I screamed;   Lies that life is black and white spoke from my skull, I dreamed;   Romantic facts of musketeers foundationed deep, somehow;   Ah, but I was so much older then, I’m younger than that now. ”   Bob Dylan , My Back Pages   (posted 10/30/20)

“Much of the social history of the Western world, over the past three decades, has been a history of replacing what worked with what sounded good.” Thomas Sowell (posted 10/29/20)

“Watching the press handle Joe Biden is like watching someone make sure a 3-year old wins Candyland.”   Nikki Haley   (posted 10/28/20)

“Before you judge a man, walk a mile in his shoes. After that who cares?… He’s a mile away and you’ve got his shoes.” Billy Connolly (posted 10/27/20)

“The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits.” Albert Einstein (posted 10/26/20)

“God assumed from the beginning that many in the world would view Christians as fools, and He has not been disappointed. If I have brought any message here today, it is this: Have the courage to have your wisdom regarded as stupidity. And have the courage to suffer the contempt of the sophisticated world.” Antonin Scalia (posted 10/25/20)

“Before I refuse to take any of your questions, I have an opening statement.”   Ronald Reagan   (posted 10/24/20)

“And some sad news… the first lesbian couple to legally get married in the state of Massachusetts has split up. They cited irreconcilable similarities.” Jay Leno (posted 10/23/20)

“Only women can give birth. Only women can menstruate. Only women can have miscarriages. Only Marxist psychopaths believe any of these statements are ‘hateful.’” Candace Owens (posted 10/22/20)

“If there are no stupid questions, then what kind of questions do stupid people ask? Do they get smart just in time to ask questions?” Scott Adams (posted 10/21/20)

“If we didn’t have such a thing as an airplane today, we would probably create something the size of NASA to make one.” Ross Perot (posted 10/20/20)

“Geese are but Geese tho’ we may think ’em Swans; and Truth will be Truth tho’ it sometimes prove mortifying and distasteful.” Benjamin Franklin (posted 10/19/20)

“I remain just one thing, and one thing only — and that is a clown. It places me on a far higher plane than any politician.” Charlie Chaplin (posted 10/18/20)

“I don’t deserve this award, but I have arthritis and I don’t deserve that either.” Jack Benny (posted 10/17/20)

“The greatest threat to a robust, autonomous civil society is the ever-growing Leviathan state and those like Obama who see it as the ultimate expression of the collective. Obama compounds the fallacy by declaring the state to be the font of entrepreneurial success. How so? It created the infrastructure – roads, bridges, schools, Internet – off which we all thrive. Absurd. We don’t credit the Swiss postal service with the Special Theory of Relativity because it transmitted Einstein’s manuscript to the Annalen der Physik.” Charles Krauthammer (posted 10/16/20)

“If the world were perfect, it wouldn’t be.” Yogi Berra (10/15/20)

“If something happened along the route and you had to leave your children with Bob Dole or Bill Clinton, I think you would probably leave them with Bob Dole.” Bob Dole (posted 10/14/20)

“I get satisfaction of three kinds. One is creating something, one is being paid for it, and one is the feeling that I haven’t just been sitting on my ass all afternoon.” William F. Buckley (posted 10/13/20)

“I certify to Your Highnesses that in the world I believe that there are no better people nor better land. They love their neighbors as themselves, and have a speech that is sweetest in the world, and mild and always laughing.” Christopher Columbus (posted 10/12/20)

“What do you get when you cross an insomniac, an agnostic, and a dyslexic? Someone who stays up all night wondering if there is a Dog.” Groucho Marx (posted 10/11/20)

“I’ve had quite a few complaints lately from people who like it when I complain about things. They say I haven’t complained about anything lately. So tonight, for you complaint fans, I have a complaint.” Andy Rooney (posted 10/10/20)

“Maybe [President Obama] would take ISIS seriously if he discovered they didn’t recycle.” Mike Huckabee (posted 10/9/20)

“I got arrested for inciting a peaceful riot… when all I wanted was a cup o’ tea.” Rod Stewart, Every Picture Tells a Story (posted 10/8/20)

“Democracy means that anyone can grow up to be President, and anyone who doesn’t grow up can be Vice-President.”   Johnny Carson (posted 10/7/20)

“I don’t like country music, but I don’t mean to denigrate those who do. And for the people who like country music, denigrate means ‘put down’.” Bob Newhart (posted 10/6/20)

“Let there be no strife, I pray thee, between me and thee, and between my herdmen and thy herdmen; for we be brethren.” Abraham, Genesis 13:8 (posted 10/5/20)

“To my knowledge, no one has ever burned a flag at a trade school. I wonder why that is…” Mike Rowe (posted 10/4/20)

“Mrs. O’Leary’s cow is sorry, but Cleveland burned anyway.” Archie Bunker (posted 10/3/20)

“Reaganomics – You start a business in your parents’ garage. Obamanomics – You move into your parents’ garage.” Ted Cruz (posted 10/2/20)

“Telling us what to think has evolved into telling us what to say, so telling us what to do can’t be far behind.” Charlton Heston (posted 10/1/20)

“ Some people see things that are and ask, ‘why?’ Some people dream of things that never were and ask, ‘why not?’ And some people have to go to work and don’t have time for all that.” George Carlin (posted 9/30/20)

“When conservative judges strike down laws, it’s because of what’s in the Constitution. When liberal judges strike down laws – or impose new laws – it’s because of what’s in the New York Times.” Ann Coulter (posted 9/29/20)

“Good for you, you have a heart, you can be a liberal. Now, couple your heart with your brain, and you can be a conservative.” Glenn Beck (posted 9/28/20)

“I won’t insult your intelligence by suggesting that you really believe what you just said.” William F. Buckley (posted 9/27/20)

“They say all marriages are made in heaven, but so are thunder and lightning.” Clint Eastwood (posted 9/26/20)

“Biden, to me, is like having a flashlight with a dying battery, and going for a long hike in the woods. It is not going to work out.” Joe Rogan (posted 9/25/20)

“She has a Billy-goat brain and a mockingbird mouth.” Sen. John Kennedy (R-LA) (posted 9/24/20)

“They call me a racist too, just because I disagree with a president who happens to be black. You’re not racists, you’re patriots.” Herman Cain (posted 9/23/20)

“The world is fighting Islamic terrorism, starvation and disease. But Democrats are fighting for men to pee in the ladies’ room.” James Woods (posted 9/22/20)

“No matter how much cats fight, there always seems to be plenty of kittens.” Abraham Lincoln (posted 9/21/20)

“I would call [COVID lockdowns], ‘forcibly imprisoning people in their homes’ against all their Constitutional rights, in my opinion, and breaking people’s freedoms in ways that are horrible and wrong and not why people came to America or built this country” Elon Musk (posted 9/20/20)

“I’m prepared to say, that I have a record of over 40 years. And that I’m going to beat Joe Biden!” Joe Biden (posted 9/19/20)

“The nice part about being a pessimist is that you are constantly being either proven right or pleasantly surprised.” George Will (posted 9/18/20)

“This is the kind of ass-clownery that stems from the fact that all philosophy looks weird when you don’t have one.” Jonah Goldberg (posted 9/17/20)

“African Americans watch the same news at night that ordinary Americans do.” Bill Clinton (posted 9/16/20)

“It’s not that conservatives don’t care… we do. We just have different answers than liberals do. It’s a difference of the mind, not of the heart.” Tom Selleck (posted 9/15/20)

“Socialism in general has a record of failure so blatant that only an intellectual could ignore or evade it.” Thomas Sowell (posted 9/14/20)

“I’ll keep us out of war with Oklahoma.” Kinky Friedman, then-candidate for Texas Governor (posted 9/13/20)

“I don’t need a seven-year degree in Sociology to know bullshit when I hear it.” Ben Shapiro (posted 9/12/20)

“My father, Norberto, was a pastry chef at ‘Windows on the World’ in Tower One. For 10 years, he made many fancy and famous desserts, but the sweetest dessert he made was the marble cake he made for us at home. Whenever we parted, Poppi would say, ‘Te amo. Vaya con Dios.’ And this morning, I want to say the same thing to you, Poppi. I love you. Go with God.”   Catherine Hernandez (posted 9/11/20)

“I was a Great Society liberal on domestic issues. People ask me, ‘How do you go from Walter Mondale to Fox News?’ The answer is, ‘I was young once.’ End of answer.” Charles Krauthammer (posted 9/10/20)

“Imagine a man forcefully penetrating a woman’s vagina & telling her she smells like she’s been with other men. Then that man physically assaults police officers, goes for a knife—and is somehow subsequently worshipped as a victim of injustice. Jacob Blake was a violent scumbag.” Candace Owens (posted 9/9/20)

“You can’t go from a $2,000-a-night suite at La Mirage to a penitentiary and really understand it and come out a liberal.” Robert Downey Jr. (posted 9/8/20)

“To anger a conservative, lie to him. To anger a liberal, tell him the truth.” Theodore Roosevelt (posted 9/7/20)

“I may be drunk, miss, but in the morning I will be sober and you will still be ugly.” Winston Churchill (posted 9/6/20)

“You can play golf with liberals, be neighbors with them, and go out to dinner. I just don’t want them in power.” Sean Hannity (posted 9/5/20)

“How do you tell a Communist? Well, it’s someone who reads Marx and Lenin. And how do you tell an anti-Communist? It’s someone who understands Marx and Lenin.” Ronald Reagan (posted 9/4/20)

“They are supposed to be dispassionate dispensers of pure justice; icy islands of emotionless calculation. In short, umpires should be acute Republicans.” George Will (posted 9/3/20)

“Life is hard… it’s harder when you’re stupid.” John Wayne (posted 9/2/20)

“In the liberal imagination, the money is the government’s by default, and the president and congress determine through the tax code how much to give to the people.” Mathew Continetti (posted 9/1/20)

“I’d rather entrust the government of the United States to the first 400 people listed in the Boston telephone directory than to the faculty of Harvard University.” William F. Buckley (posted 8/31/20)

“Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.” Benjamin Franklin (posted 8/30/20)

“Secretly, everybody’s getting tired of political correctness. Kissing up. That’s the kiss-ass generation we’re in right now. We’re really in a pussy generation.” Clint Eastwood (posted 8/29/20)

“Listening to liberals invoke the sanctity of ‘science’ to promote their crackpot ideas creates the same uneasy feeling as listening to Bill Clinton cite Scripture.” Ann Coulter (posted 8/28/20)

“In explaining any puzzling Washington phenomenon, always choose stupidity over conspiracy, incompetence over cunning. Anything else gives them too much credit.” Charles Krauthammer (posted 8/27/20)

“We cannot let this we we’ve never allowed an any crisis from the Civil War straight through to the pandemic of seventeen all the way around sixteen we have never ever let our democracy sakes second fiddle way they we can both have a democracy and elections at the same time.” Joe Biden (posted 8/26/20… and no, that quote has not been edited)

“Find out if your girlfriend is a feminist before you get too far into it. Some of them are pretty. They don’t all look like Bella Abzug.” Phyllis Schlafly (posted 8/25/20)

“What children need most are the essentials that grandparents provide in abundance. They give unconditional love, kindness, patience, humor, comfort, lessons in life. And most importantly, cookies.” Rudolph Giuliani (posted 8/24/20)

“I’m a huge supporter of women. What I’m not is a supporter of liberalism. Feminism is what I oppose. Feminism has led women astray. I love the women’s movement — especially when walking behind it.” Rush Limbaugh (posted 8/21/20)

“That desire which is in us all to better other people’s condition by having them think as we think.” Mark Twain (posted 8/20/20)

“Senator Kerry has been in Washington long enough to take both sides on just about every issue.” George W. Bush (posted 8/19/20)

“Strom Thurmond had four kids after he was 67. If you’re not willing to do that, then we’ve got to come up with a new legal immigration system.” Lindsey Graham (posted 8/18/20)

“All I can say is that I have taken more out of alcohol than alcohol has taken out of me.” Winston Churchill (posted 8/17/20)

“I get tougher questions at the Bojangles drive-through than those asked of Susan Rice by David Gregory.” Trey Gowdy (posted 8/16/20)

“It’s a very good question, very direct, and I’m not going to answer it. ” George H.W. Bush (posted 8/14/20)

“This is why aliens won’t talk to us.” Sen. John Kennedy (R-LA) (posted 8/12/20)

“Look who we’re running against. Their #1 candidate thought she was flat broke after her and her husband were in the White House for eight years. Their #2 guy went to the Soviet Union on his honeymoon and I don’t think he ever came back. If we don’t beat these people, who the hell are we gonna beat?” Lindsey Graham (posted 8/10/20)

“Back in the thirties we were told we must collectivize the nation because the people were so poor. Now we are told we must collectivize the nation because the people are so rich.” William F. Buckley (posted 8/8/20)

“Ending a sentence with a preposition is something up with which I will not put.” Winston Churchill (posted 8/7/20)

“Being powerful is like being a lady. If you have to tell people you are… you aren’t.” Margaret Thatcher (posted 8/6/20)

“You can get a goat to climb a tree, but you’d be better off hiring a squirrel.” Sen. John Kennedy (R-LA) (posted 8/5/20)

“Concerning the difference between man and the jackass: some observers hold that there isn’t any. But this wrongs the jackass.” Mark Twain (posted 8/4/20)

“If I were two-faced, would I be wearing this one?” Abraham Lincoln (posted 8/3/20)

“I wear high heels, and it’s not for a fashion statement… it’s ammunition.” Nikki Haley (posted 8/2/20)

“If the Tea Party is so racist, how come when they have straw polls the black guy keeps winning?” Herman Cain (Rest in Peace; posted 8/1/20)

“We are, always, reminded of the old saw: What would happen if the Soviet Union took over the Sahara Desert? Answer: Nothing for 50 years. After that there would be a shortage of sand.” William F. Buckley (posted 7/31/20)

“Sex and politics are a lot alike. You don’t have to be good at them to enjoy them.” Barry Goldwater (posted 7/30/20)

“I am prepared to meet my Maker. Whether my Maker is prepared for the ordeal of meeting me is another matter.” Winston Churchill (posted 7/29/20)

“Politics is not a bad profession. If you succeed there are many rewards, if you disgrace yourself you can always write a book.” Ronald Reagan (posted 7/28/20)

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