Meanwhile, British Immigration Minister Alistair Piccadilly weighed in with this explanation: “Mr. Armstrong isn’t even a British citizen yet, how can he renounce a citizenship he doesn’t even have? It’s completely mental. And, incidentally, we jolly well weren’t planning on giving him citizenship to begin with. Why in heaven’s name would we? That man is a total wanker.”
In a related story, while participating in a fiery-but-mostly-peaceful riot in Washington D.C., Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez (D-NY) was asked to weigh in on Friday’s controversial Supreme Court decision Dobbs Vs. Jackson, the Congresswoman then put down her Molotov cocktail and explained, “Dobbs was a character in that racist TV show F-Troop. They’re all racists. Everything is racist, and this decision was racist.
According to a White House statement released this morning, Assistant Press Secretary Dick Dipshchitz stated, “President Biden recognizes the need for change at the top of the CDC. They’ve lost almost all their credibility and they only have a 4% approval rating according to recent polls, with a 3% margin of error. The president believes Chris Wallace is the one who can right the ship.”
So, what should we do? How do we take a stand against a sport that flaunts its toxic masculinity every time a player steps up to the plate and grabs his cup? The first step is to organize some tough guys to help, and they don’t have to really be tough, they just have to act that way. We can have them wear black clothes and black masks, and we can call them AntiBa (an abbreviation for “anti-baseball”).